TABLE ETIQUETTE: HOW TO ARRANGE AND USE CUTLERY WITH CONFIDENCE
When we receive an invitation or host a special dinner, one of the first questions that comes to mind is: How should the table be arranged? Closely followed by: What is the correct order to use the cutlery and plates? While these concerns may feel overwhelming, the truth is that both questions have one simple answer rooted in the basics of dining etiquette.
BY JANA ZAHDEH, FOUNDER OF SCHOOL OF ETIQUETTE
The BMW method
A simple way to orient yourself at the table is to remember the BMW method:
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B for bread (on your left),
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M for main dish (in the center),
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W for water (on your right).
This method prevents confusion about which plate or glass belongs to you and provides a foundation for correct table settings.
The outside-in rule
The second golden rule of dining etiquette is: always use cutlery from the outside in, and from the top down. The utensils placed farthest from your plate are for the first course, while those closest to the plate are reserved for the main dish. Dessert cutlery is usually set above the plate horizontally or brought in later.
Course by course
Let’s imagine a dinner with four courses:
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Soup
The soup spoon is placed on the far right, making it the first item to use. The soup bowl rests neatly on a small plate in the center. -
Appetizer
After the soup is cleared, the appetizer is served. Here, you use the smaller fork and knife, positioned just inside of the soup spoon and outer fork. Once finished, the cutlery is cleared away to maintain a tidy table. -
Main Dish
The larger fork and knife remain closest to the plate and are reserved for the main course. Their size and weight are ideal for handling the centerpiece of the meal. -
Dessert
For dessert, everything used for earlier courses is removed. A small plate is placed with a fork and spoon, either laid out above the dinner plate from the start or provided with the dish. Cleanliness and simplicity are key to ending the meal gracefully.
Cleanliness and order
Beyond cutlery and placement, fine dining etiquette emphasizes the appearance of the table. After each course, plates and utensils should be cleared, leaving a clean surface for the next stage of the meal. Each course should feel like a fresh experience.
Why etiquette matters
Fine dining etiquette is not about memorizing stiff rules. Instead, it creates an atmosphere of elegance, order, and comfort. By following the BMW method, using cutlery from the outside in, and keeping the table neat, you not only feel confident but also show respect to your hosts and guests.
Mastering these basics ensures that dining becomes less about worry and more about enjoyment, the way it’s meant to be.
